Things you'll never hear a southerner say
- "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex."
- "Duct tape won't fix that."
- "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."
- "We don't keep firearms in this house."
- "Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?"
- "You can't feed that to the dog."
- "No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe."
- "Wrasslin's fake."
- "I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy."
- "Who's Richard Petty?"
- "Give me the small bag of pork rinds."
- "Deer heads detract from the decor."
- "Spittin' is such a nasty habit."
- "Trim the fat off that steak."
- "The tires on that truck are too big."
- "I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad."
- "I've got it all on a floppy disk."
- "Unsweetened tea tastes better."
- "Would you like your fish poached or broiled?"
- "My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's"
- "I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl."
- "Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams."
- "Checkmate."
- "She's too old to be wearing that bikini."
- "Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?"
- "Hey, here's an episode of Hee Haw that we haven't seen."
- "I don't have a favorite college team."
- "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin."
- "Elvis who?"
- "Baby, them jeans are too tight"
- "I couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today"
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